Stuck. In an old rut. I hate it when I find myself back in places of darkness or bondage, old patterns and reactions that used to run my life. And I found myself there again last week. Except this time, something surprising happened.
Many of you know that I have started a new ministry called Landmark Journey Ministries. It’s fledgling, like a newborn infant. We are right now trying to get a website up for it by the start of the new year. So I decided to go online to look at other ministries that are somewhat parallel. I wanted to get some ideas on what they have done with their websites. After looking at the third site, it hit. The old thoughts and feelings. Here is a little replay:
Why would anyone come to my ministry? These are much better, more advanced. They can offer things that I could never do. And with that came all the comparing, the jealousy, the old self-hatred. It’s a rut I started tumbling in as a young man and sometimes lived there for months. It was the equivalent of being punched in the gut. I stared at the computer screen with the wind knocked out of me. What was I to do?
I did the only thing I knew how. I simply stopped, stood what little ground was left in my heart and cried out, “Father what do I do here? Give me something.” And what popped out was so surprising:
Why don’t you give thanks for them?
I was momentarily stunned. And then I realized it was from Him. It was what I needed to do to get out of the rut. And I did just that. I gave thanks for each of the ministries I had looked at, for their work, for how they are honoring Jesus, and for all that can happen through them. I felt like I was being hoisted up out of a pit. I was free.
This is what it feels like to be personally coached by God. He wants to father us in very specific ways, through our temptations, our doubts, through our old patterns and ruts. What father wouldn’t want to help his son or daughter with their struggles!
Where do you need God to coach you today?