Coming out of a vicious battle

I just walked out of a vicious battle, bruised a bit, but I’m OK. I’ve been here before. I should have known better, but I just forgot. Here’s what happened.

Saturday night was the first official event of the ministry that I and others have started, Landmark Journey Ministries. We gathered some 40+ men at a friend’s house for a Men’s Night Out, with men of all ages, including high school age sons. The program included dinner, a movie clip, some teaching, and a man telling his story. The theme of the evening was “our fallen stories as men.”

Everyone was so attentive and focused during the night. It seemed like a really good start. I should have been elated, but that’s not what I felt the next morning.

I woke up in a fog, confused, groping for truth. Sharp and darkened thoughts began to fly in at me, machine-gun style: You are a failure. This ministry will never succeed. Look at all the men who didn’t come. There are many others who can do this better than you. And they were aimed right at the lie I had believed for so long: Never fail in front of others. I knew what this was now, a demonic assault on my heart. It was time to stand. But as soon as I resisted one thought, another would come flying at me. I became disoriented, but kept hanging on to truth of Scripture. The Lord also reminded me that this was not about me, but about his glory.

Throughout the morning and into the afternoon, I just had to keep resisting. It was exhausting. I fell asleep for over an hour to recover. Finally, the darkness began to lift. Standing in the truth had won the day.

I went back and spoke to the friend I had interviewed. He had felt same type of attack. We encouraged each other to stand and not give in.

Whenever the kingdom of God advances, there is a counter-assault from the kingdom of darkness. I call this the Dark Backwash Effect. And when we experience this, it’s not a sign of defeat, but a sign of the enemy’s defeat.

So…what are the dark thoughts darting in your mind? What are the accusations, the condemnations? You don’t need to listen to them. You can learn to stand in the truth…the truth of Jesus. And you can walk out victorious.


About Coach D

I have been a teacher and a coach for many years. My real name is Bill Delvaux, but my students call me Coach D, hence the user name. This blog is about the journey into the unknown I am walking and the landmarks I am navigating along the way. The destination: becoming who I really am as a man. I invite you to join me by reading along every Monday and Thursday.
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6 Responses to Coming out of a vicious battle

  1. Trey says:

    Fear and despair are our enemy’s weapons, I feel them as well. Usually I feel the attack prior to the event, trying to get me to cancel or not attend. You guys must have honored Christ well indeed! I am proud of you all and sorry I could not be there.


  2. Coach D says:

    Thank you for the encouragement. Sometimes the barrage of negative thoughts happens before or during an event. But this time it came afterward. We all need to learn to stand. And today I’m pressing on!

  3. Trey says:

    I shared this with our CLC group meeting this morning. I bet it will come in handy!


  4. Jeff says:

    I remember your phone call soon after we spoke honestly together in a similar group setting – “We need to pray for each other”….I didn’t realize why until it got dark that night and I was assaulted by many of the same voices. When the lies and accusations are the loudest, sometimes it’s hard to remember (or believe) that we cannot be judged or condemned in Christ…but eventually we do remember because it’s TRUE. Keep it up, friend.

    • Coach D says:

      Thanks for reminding me of that memory. It’s so true and real…and yet we forget sometimes the reality of the demonic battle set against us. Let’s stand strong in Christ.

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