Last Sunday night, I began thinking about the workload of starting a new week of high school. On top of that I have editing deadlines with the book that will be published. I am also in the throes of starting a non-profit. It felt like the famous scene of Lucy at the chocolate factory. It didn’t matter how hard I worked. It was never fast enough.
And then…there was my Sunday School class. It’s been a major commitment, a major joy, and the place where I taught the Landmarks for the first time. But it had become another deadline. I had just finished teaching the class that morning and was stewing over how to proceed for the next Sunday. It literally sent me over the cliff. I could feel the anxiety rising in me down low and moving up towards my throat. The old lie that I need to perform before others to get affirmation had pounced on me. And then the fear that I would stand up before the class and have nothing to say. It was driving the anxiety. I began to spout off to Heidi, half in anger, half in fear. Tears of frustration came. I was a mess. She prayed for me as we went to bed. I struggled to hang on to the truth as I fell asleep.
And the week went OK, even with all the busyness.
But the real insight came yesterday. Saturday I enjoyed a quiet morning on the back porch, reading, praying, listening to God, enjoying the company of Jesus. I felt solid, connected, centered. There was nothing much scheduled on the calendar. And then it hit me. No deadlines. None. Not even this blog to write!
I believe that in our present age what fogs and gunks up any real connection to God is not so much sin or idols or rebellion. It’s busyness. We become too busy with life to think about our life. We are too rushed just getting things done to think about the sadness of a life just getting things done. We are running quickly going nowhere quickly.
There is only one answer. STOP. It’s not a new idea. Over 3000 years ago it was given this way. Rest, once a week, on the Sabbath.
So…how is your busyness? How is your rest?