Lost again…and found again.

This story revolves around a regular occurrence in my life.  And when it happens, nothing sends me into convulsions of shame and anger quicker.  What am I referring to?  Losing my wallet.  I feel undone, irresponsible, exposed as inept before Heidi and my family.  A couple of weeks ago, it happened again after going to a cross country meet to watch some of my students run.  I remember putting it in my coat pocket as I ran out onto the course.  But it never got home.

When it first hit me what had happened, I could feel the familiar blackness rise.  And this time, the stakes were higher.  We were supposed to leave the next day to go out of town to buy a car.  The absolute worst possible time to lose a wallet.  It was also dinnertime.  I couldn’t even finish my dinner.  I felt sick.  But this time I did something different.  I prayed with Heidi about the wallet.  Something so simple.   I had never done that before with this.  I really mean that.  Yet it changed everything…the anger, the shame, the blackness.  We just connected to God together.  I knew that he knew where the wallet was.  Heidi felt the same way.

After a men’s group that night, I took my head lamp and tried to search the race course.  It was hopeless.  I decided to wait until morning.  Morning came…so did the rain, the wind, the cold.  But I was not distraught.  Instead, I did something different again.  I invited other men to help me.  There we were in the driving rain for over an hour, scouring the grounds.  After an exhaustive search…still no wallet.  We prayed together and left.  I was strangely unshaken.  This felt so different.  I just knew it would be OK.  We were now supposed to leave in an hour.  I was trying to figure out how to get a temporary license when I got a message from the director of the cross country meet.  Someone had turned in a wallet…yes, it was mine.  It had been lost again, and found again, but very differently this time.

What made the difference?  Something so simple.  Connecting to the Father.  It switches the rails in our thinking, the well-worn grooves in our hearts.  All of a sudden, we are different, not by trying to be, but by remembering the truth.   We are not alone.  We are not orphans.  We belong to him.

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About Coach D

I have been a teacher and a coach for many years. My real name is Bill Delvaux, but my students call me Coach D, hence the user name. This blog is about the journey into the unknown I am walking and the landmarks I am navigating along the way. The destination: becoming who I really am as a man. I invite you to join me by reading along every Monday and Thursday.
This entry was posted in Coaching, Landmarks, Wilderness and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Lost again…and found again.

  1. ben rucker says:

    Hey Coach,

    I’m enjoying reading your writings! Definitely keep it up.

    Also, I wish I had realized the state meet was last weekend. I was in the park to have a cookout with some friends over in Indian Springs and saw all the commotion over at Steeple Chase. I miss X-country meets….

    Ben Rucker

    • Coach D says:

      Ben…It was great to hear from you. I’ll keep the writing up…every Monday and Thursday for now. And I was at the state meet also. Sorry we missed each other.

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