A bike, a flat tire, a pumped-up heart

In the most unlikely of places, this story begins–stranded on a country road with a flat bike tire.  I was trying to catch up with my bike buddies on a recent Saturday morning.  The weird thud, thud, thud, the rough turning of my back tire, the loss of traction all alerted me.  I knew what it was.  I pulled the bike over at the top of a hill.  Let’s see…I have the stuff to replace a tube…but when was the last time I tried this?  Anxiety began to stalk.  I have never done this myself.  I saw someone do it several years ago.  Could I remember?  I plow ahead hoping to figure it out on my own.  A few awkward turns with the tire tool and the tool breaks.  OK…that was a fail.  I have another one.  More prying at the tire to get it off the rim.  The second tool breaks.  OK…this is bad.   I’m stuck.  I need someone to get me home.

I call everyone I know…only voice mails.    And then on a whim, I call a former student now out of college who lived in the area.  He answered, said he could come, and…he could fix the flat.  So there I was watching him man-handle it, 30 years my junior.  He fixed it, but my anxiety lingered.  I was uncomfortable, a familiar distress I have known all my life.  It is the place of need.  I should have known how, but didn’t.  It’s an old haunt filled with images of shame, places where I needed to come through but couldn’t.  I immediately shoved it down, got on my bike, found my buddies, and rode on.

But what I shoved down came up again the next morning as I was quiet before God.  Romans 15:5 told me that the Scriptures are there to teach us. I saw that I needed teaching, coaching, mentoring from God and his Word. But that means I have to admit need.  And then it hit.  The old lie…I’m on my own to figure life out.  I have lived with that so long and then felt shame that I couldn’t figure it out.  I thought something was always wrong with me.  Now I see that something was deeply wrong with my belief.  I need to be mentored.  And to hear God at times, I need to stay in that uncomfortable place where I feel awkward, unsure, untutored.  I have run away from that for so long.  In doing that, I have run away from the Father (and also from other men).  But not that morning.  I ran to him and simply stayed needy.  It was weird and wonderful, a new sensation, a new road to travel.   No more flat tire…instead it’s a pumped-up heart.

About Coach D

I have been a teacher and a coach for many years. My real name is Bill Delvaux, but my students call me Coach D, hence the user name. This blog is about the journey into the unknown I am walking and the landmarks I am navigating along the way. The destination: becoming who I really am as a man. I invite you to join me by reading along every Monday and Thursday.
This entry was posted in Bike Ride, Coaching, Landmarks and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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