Enjoy me…

As long as I can remember, I have been good at getting things done.  Even in the 7th grade, I could chew through the academic work.  When I attempted a career as a recording artist, I could sit for hours in front of the mike.   When I was in the ministry, I could format time calendars to get through sermon preparation. When I bought my first home, I could create master lists of things that needed to be done and click them off methodically.  When I began teaching, I could push through the paper like a shredding machine.  I could create check-off boxes, clean off desks, organize closets, file endless papers, maintain the cars, keep the yard in shape.  Perhaps I looked like the model of efficiency and discipline.  Perhaps I was.

But there is one thing I couldn’t do in my endless pursuit of getting stuff done.  I couldn’t enjoy.  I couldn’t enjoy people.  I couldn’t just be in a conversation and just relish the time.  I couldn’t just sit at the dinner table and delight in the company.  It’s as if that part of my heart had been freeze-dried, shelved, and tucked in some back corner of my psyche.  I knew that something was terribly wrong, but I had no idea how to change.

One recent morning, as I was going through Scripture and journaling, I was aching to listen to God here.  I was dutifully praying, approaching God like I often approach others, asking for something I need before I disappear back into my private bungalow.  But this time, he interrupted me.  This is what I heard. “Just enjoy me.”  Three quiet words that stopped me.  More than anything, this is what I needed, beyond all my other prayers.  It was the gentle and persistent coaching of a good father.  I stopped and tried to enjoy the moment, to delight in his power and beauty, to relish his company and coaching.  And as I began to do that, something very surprising crept up on me, almost unnoticed.  I began to enjoy others around me.

“Blessed are those who walk in the light of your presence.” (Psalm 89:15)

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About Coach D

I have been a teacher and a coach for many years. My real name is Bill Delvaux, but my students call me Coach D, hence the user name. This blog is about the journey into the unknown I am walking and the landmarks I am navigating along the way. The destination: becoming who I really am as a man. I invite you to join me by reading along every Monday and Thursday.
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